Missing Him
by Jedi Princess Jainakin
Summary: Padme thinks about her and Anakin and life now after he departs to fight in the War.


**a.n. I haven't updated in a while, but I hope to real soon, hopefully next week. I'm busy with finals next week, but once they're over, I should be able to update while I am on Spring Break. To hold you over until my next big update, here is another one shot. Read, Review, and Enjoy!**

**Missing Him**

The sun slowly peaked his golden-rayed head over the peaks of the majestic mountains. The sky was painted in a multitude of soft pastels as the morning dew glistened in the gentle dawn light. A slight breeze wafted through the air as chirps of birds, just awakening for a new day, was carried through the air. All in all, the scene was peaceful and brought the promise of tranquility and serenity for the day.

In a fairly large and ornately decorated villa, tucked far away from prying eyes into the seclusion of the Lake Country, a lone figure, roused from a fitful sleep, was slowly coming to. Dark brown orbs appeared beneath the delicate skin as her eyes slowly opened to the gentle harshness of the rising sun. Though the heat of the day was quickly becoming apparent, she still felt cold, as if something warm was suddenly gone from her life. A quick moment of confusion later and everything came to her. Something was missing, something important, something she had lived so long without but now was less then half herself without it. Or, more precisely, without him.

Anakin.

He wasn't there; he wasn't sleeping peacefully by her side. In fact, she knew, he was nowhere around here. He was already long gone by now, off to fight in what has now been dubbed the Clone War. Off to fight in a war that never should have happened, a war that most didn't believe in. A war that took him away to fight on the frontlines, away from Coruscant and the Jedi Temple. Away from her.

Padmé sighed heavily as she rolled over and stared at the vacant spot on the bed. Oh, how she missed him! She missed the twinkle in his eyes whenever he looked at her, the silly grin he wore when he lovingly teased her, the soft words of devotion he uttered in her ear late at night when he thought she was sleeping. She missed the sound of his heart beating as she lay next to him at night. She missed the feel of his soft breaths against her skin as she cuddled up next to his sleeping form.

Padmé held back the tears that threatened to fall as she thought about her beloved. She wished with all her heart that he could be back by her side, that she could see his handsome face once again, that she could shower him with feathery kisses as he held her in his strong arms. She knew that he had been gone only a few hours and that he would do everything in his power to get back to her as soon as he could. But still she wished with all her heart.

It was amazing to think that just a few days ago, she had been trying to deny these feelings of love and devotion that were threatening to overwhelm her now. When he had first walked back into her life after a decade of separation, she did indeed feel something for him, but knew she had to cover up her true feelings because of circumstance. After the assassination attempts on her life, when he had been assigned as her protection, it had taken all of her restraint to tell herself, and him, that there could be no way they could express their feelings for each other. She had nearly cried at the anguish she saw on his face and had to force herself to see that this was the only way it could ever be for them, that there could be nothing between them. When she had comforted him after the death of his mother, she wanted nothing more than to kiss his tears away, to tell him she loved him, to show him that he wasn't alone in this galaxy. Again, she held herself back from showing him that she felt the same way he did. It wasn't until she was faced with her own mortality, awaiting her death in the arena on Geonosis, that she realized that it wouldn't be fair to him, the man she knew she loved, to not know the true extent of her feelings. When she professed her love for him, she rejoiced at the look in his eye that showed that he truly cared for her too and that he wanted to be with her forever, no matter the consequences.

Not long after that horrific battle, the one that began this horrible war, they had decided that even though the law would prevent them from being together, they couldn't live without each other and would face any consequences that came their way. Soon after, they were on their way back to Naboo, he again acting as her protection, and just four days ago, they were married in secret at the very spot they had shared their first kiss.

This time, Padmé couldn't prevent the tears from escaping and she began to sob. Their three days together, their first as husband and wife, had been wonderful. They had been full of love and laughter. They had spent most of the time inside, spending as much time as possible together because they both knew that his eventual departure was on the horizon and that he would soon need to leave her to take his place with the other Jedi as a soldier in the war.

Their last night together had been absolute bliss. A quiet, intimate dinner by candlelight, followed by a few cozy hours curled up together by the fire had led to a very passionate night of love that neither would forget. They had gently caressed each other, giving one another tender kisses, as they loved each other as much as possible because neither one knew when they would have another chance to be together. Pure love was all that had passed between them in those hours they were ensconced in the bedroom. There had been no need for words, for they wanted to just enjoy the feeling of being together as one body, one mind, one soul. Afterwards, neither one had wanted to fall asleep because they both knew that the morning would bring a hard and long separation. They had each stayed awake as long as they could, relishing the feel of the other before both of them had drifted off into sleep.

Padmé let the tears fall as the memories of the night before came flooding back to her. It wasn't fair that they had to be separated by duty. It wasn't fair that they couldn't spend more time together as a happy, newly married couple. It wasn't fair that they wouldn't be able to see each other again for Force knows how long. It wasn't fair that they had to hide a love so pure, so bright, so powerful, from everyone. But life was rarely fair, she realized. Nobody could ever expect life to be good without the bad, to be easy without the hard, to be safe without the danger, to be right without the wrong. Both she and Anakin knew that what they were doing was going to be hard on the both of them, that it had to remain secret from all those they were close to. But if they could be together, then everything they would face, any trials they would have to endure, and any hardships they would have to overcome would be worth it.

Padmé dried her tears and realized that this was just one of many more days to come where she wouldn't be able to be with her loving husband. If she was to get through the rough times ahead, she shouldn't be dwelling on what is. She should be looking forward to the times when they could be together again, remembering the good times they shared, and anticipating his return to her.

Padmé slowly rose from the bed and headed towards the bedroom door. With one last, long, loving look at the bed where she had shared the first intimate moments with her husband, she closed the door behind her to prepare for a new day, eagerly awaiting the day her husband would be back in her arms.


End file.
